Kawaknackered

CANBERRA, May 12 (Reuters) - Australian diplomats were left red-faced on Thursday after mistakenly warning that the world's most isolated city, laid-back Perth in Western Australia, "is dangerous at this time of year". The warning was sent in a test email to media, travel agencies and subscribers to the Australian government's travel warning service, which warns of the dangers of travel to places like Baghdad and East Timor. "This is a message to let you know that Perth is dangerous at this time of year. XXX," the email said. The Department of Foreign Affairs website manager, Alan Walsh, apologised for the email, which he said was sent by an external contractor who was testing a new email system. Eyewitness Travel Guides describe the capital of Western Australia as the world's most isolated city, closer to South East Asia than to other Australian state capitals. The Rough Guide to Australia says Perth's 1.3 million people enjoy a laid-back lifestyle in a city which lacks charisma but has a reputation for sunshine and low urban crime.

It looks like someone's been to Perth before then. It's so laid back here that nobody noticed this on the news, but I thought it was funny.

In fact the TV news here in WA is quite funny. There are 4 channels each producing evening news programmes that are scheduled apart. The items are the same and in an identical order on each, and there's never any overseas news, unless it involves Bali and the recent spate of "drug-running" going to/from there. It goes something like this: "G'day. The headlines tonight: Someone sends out a silly email about how dangerous Perth is; National Australia Bank fires a few people; An elephant crashes into a coffee shop. In other news, the U.S. invades Iran, Syria, and Canada; the Queen is dead. Oh yeah, and the Aussie dollar is still worth bugger-all." Something like that anyway.

I am experiencing some "Technical issues" with the motorcycle I so faithfully purchased of Honest John's Used Heaps™ the other week. It's at the mechanics' now having its last rites. Blast. There's a chance they can fix it and have it in good repair for my trip. Otherwise I'll just don the crash-helmet, scarf, and goggles and take a train. It would make a good conversation-piece. "Yes," I'd say "I was aiming for Marlon Brando in The Wild One, or Steve McQueen in The Great Escape but I rather ended up like The Crazy Frog. Ha!". At least I'd get a carriage to myself.

It's time to move along now. Even though I am still enjoying staying with family and all that it brings I need to keep on moving and I'm beginning to run short of time.

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